Jake the Rancher
As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson
Jake, the rancher, went one day
to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and
the clouds rolled gray and dense,
As he pounded the last nail in
and gathered tools to go.
The temperature had fallen
and the snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pickup,
he felt a heavy heart,
from the sound of that ignition,
he knew it wouldn't start.
So Jake did what most of us do
if we'd have been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
and sent aloft a prayer.
As he turned the key for the last time,
he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later,
frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life
and done his share of roamin'.
But when he saw Heaven,
he was shocked -- it look just like Wyomin'.
Of all the saints in Heaven,
his favorite was St. Peter.
Now, this line, it ain't needed
but it helps with rhyme and meter.
So they set and talked a minute or two,
or maybe it was three,
Nobody was keepin' score --
in Heaven time is free.
"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete,
"that God will answer prayers,
But one time I asked for help,
well He, just plain wasn't there.
Does God answer prayers of some,
and ignores the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square --
I know all men are brothers.
Or does he randomly reply,
without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
the weather or the season.
Now I ain't trying to act smart,
it's just the way I feel,
And I was wonderin', could you tell --
what the heck's the deal?
Peter listened very patiently
and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
and he said, "So, you're the one!
That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
and you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
with hundreds of us a trying.
A thousand angels rushed to check
the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard
from you in quite a while
And though all prayers are answered,
and God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
and started a truck in North Dakota.