The Little Red Hen (Modern Version)

Once upon a time, on a farm in eastern North Dakota, there was
a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard
until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said,
"If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to
eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said th e pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red
hen. And so she did. The wheat grew very tall
and ripened into golden grain.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red

hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will

help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,"

said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red
hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for
all of her neighbors to see.

They wanted some

and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little
red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow.

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.

The pig just grunted in disdain.

And they all painted "Unfair!!" picket signs and

marched around and around the little red hen,

shouting obscenities.

Then a government agent came, he said to the

little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes
our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone
in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But
under our modern government regulations, the
productive workers must divide the fruits of their
labor with those who are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including
the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am
grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in
her. She never again baked bread because she
joined the "party" and got her bread free.

And

all the politician smiled. 'Fairness' had been

established. Individual initiative had died, but

nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared .... as long

as there was free bread that "the rich" were

paying for.