RANCHER WANNABE
by Yvonne Hollenbeck

January 23, 2007

So you want to be a rancher, well that’s an easy thing to be,

you just marry it, inherit it, or win a lottery.

It will take at least a million for a little piece of land

and to buy a hundred cows you need at least two hundred grand.

You will need to buy some bulls if you want those heifers bred

so you’ll shell out several thousand for each and every head.

Then a whole lot of equipment is something you will need

‘cause you will have to put up hay and raise some cattle feed. 

Of course you need good help, like a real hard-working wife,

for you can’t afford a hired man since ranching is your life.

“Good fences make good neighbors,” and that saying isn’t wrong

but it costs a pretty penny if you want those fences strong.

You need corrals and working chute, a shop with every tool,

a good warm barn, a calving shed and gas tanks full of fuel.

You’ll never see the end of all the things you need to buy;

and the fact you want to ranch makes a sane man wonder why.

It will be several years before you start to see return

and a dollar for each thousand is the most you’ll prob’ly earn.

Your income’s from the calves you raise and sell in early fall,

but you never get to spend it ‘cause the banker gets it all.

So, unless you are a doctor that is much too over-paid,

or perhaps a shyster lawyer, then you just might have it made.

But to just become a rancher is a challenge as we know it,

or you can just pretend you’re one and be a cowboy poet.