Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby…Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “normal” is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct…Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring….Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother your child will “turn out good”…Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices…Somebody never came out of the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother…Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you couldn’t love the second child as much as you love the first…Somebody doesn’t have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books…Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery…Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten…or on a plane headed for military boot camp.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back…Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married…Somebody doesn’t’ know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home…Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her…Somebody isn’t a mother.